Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Kamal and Rajkumar

So there were these two friends -- Kamal and Rajkumar. They were very close but they had different political affiliations. They respected each other very much so one would never attack other's political party or leaders directly as they knew it could lead to avoidable bitterness between them. However, they were both smart and well meaning chaps. So they devised a method to put their points across to each other in such a way that it wouldn't affect their friendship -- they would tell jokes and stories to each other.

I thought that was a very clever thing to do. And sometimes the stories they told were themselves clever too. Recently, I overheard one such conversation between them. Following is a faithful reproduction of it. 

Kamal: So there was this boy in our school who wasn't very bright. He had trouble understanding and remembering things. Once for an essay recitation exam, he memorized few essays. But on the day of the exam he forgot everything except the essay on Cow. So, when the teacher asked him to recite an essay on "Our Village", he started "Our village has many cows. The cows have four legs and a tail. They're white in color. They give milk..."

"No, no, that's not what I asked", the teacher stopped him. "Lets try again - recite an essay on Horse".

He again started - "Horse is an animal like cow. Cows have four legs and a tail. They're white ..."

The teacher again had to stop him. But, whatever the student was asked, he would always somehow relate it to the only thing he knew and not pay any attention to the topic. It would have been a really funny thing, if it weren't also so pathetic. Still, everyone had good laugh at his expense.

Rajkumar: Ahh, the school stories! I am also reminded of one from my school. So there was this student taking the Hindi grammar test. He was considered very bright and he had prepared really well for the exams. He was so confident that some students even thought that he already knew what questions the teacher would ask. But that probably was just a rumor.

Anyway, his test started well. Teacher asked him to make a sentence using the word Gau (गौ). He quickly answered - "Gau hamari maata hai". Teacher then asked him to make a sentence on Dhara (धरा). He again fluently answered - "Hindustan ki dhara ke nivasi Hindu hain".

The teacher them asked him to do a Sandhi (संधिor joining of these two words and speak a sentence on it. But he just stared at the teacher's face for a moment and simply ran away from the class.

It's not as funny a story as yours but I haven't still figured out why he couldn't use all his apparent brilliance to answer "Godhara" (Gau+Dhara) and make just a simple sentence on it.
and a tail.
Kamal and RajkumarSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Shivji's Matrimonial Disclaimer


Haryanvi ragini from Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye! movie in which Shivji summons all his humility to dissuade Parvarti from marrying him. One of my favorite. 

My attempt at translation for those not too familiar with Haryanvi: 

तू राज्जा की राजदुलारी, मैं सिर्फ लंगोटे आला सूँ |
ांग रगड़ कै पिया करूं, मैं कुंडी सोट्टे आला सूँ |

[While you're a beloved princess, I am a mere loincloth clad,
I grind and drink bhaang; mortar & pestle are all I've got.]

तू राज्जा की छोरी सै, म्हारै इक भी दासी दास नही|
शाल दुशाले औढ़न आली, म्हारै कम्ब्बल तक भी पास नही|

[While you're a king's daughter, I have not a single servant;
O! wearer of expensive shawls, I don't even have a blanket.]

तू बागा की कोयल सै, अड़े बरफ पड़ै हरी घास नही |
किस तरयहा दिल लागै तेरा, शतरंज, चौपड़, ताश नही |

[While you're a beautiful bird of garden, here it's all snow and no grass;
How will you entertain yourself - there're no cards, chaupar or chess.]

किसी साहूकार तै भ्या करवा ले, साहूकार तै भ्या करवा ले,
मैं खालिस टोट्टे आला सूँ,
भांग रगड़ के पिया करूं, मैं कुंडी सोट्टे आला सूँ |

[Get married to a wealthy merchant,
Destitution is all I've got,
I grind and drink bhaang; mortar & pestle are all I've got.]

मैं धूने में तपया करूं, तू आग देख कै डर जागी|
राख घोल के पीया करूं, मेरा भाग देख कै डर जागी|


सौ सौ साँप पड़ै रै गल मै, नाग देख कै डर जागी|
ताण्डव नाच करे बन मै, रंग राग देख कै डर जागी|

[I burn in meditation, the fire will frighten you;
I survive on ash and water, my fate will shock you;


Hundreds of serpents around my neck, the snakes will frighten you;
I perform Tandav in jungle, the excitement will startle you.]

तनै ज़ुल्फ़ों वाला छोरा चाहिये, 
ज़ुल्फ़ों वाला छोरा चाहिये
मैं लम्बे चोटे आला सूँ|
भांग रगड़ के पिया करूं, मैं कुंडी सोट्टे आला सूँ |

[You need one with flowing hairs, 

I have mere dreadlocks;
I grind and drink bhaang; mortar & pestle are all I've got.]



Shivji's Matrimonial DisclaimerSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend